Today I'm having one of those days! It started out like a normal day, took Trey to school said goodbye to Richard for the weekend, then me and Jack headed out on the town to do some Baby Girl shopping! It was great got some cute things, was all kinds of excited and then it happened!
I decided to tackle this! You see all those boxes are full of boy clothes. Some baby, some toddler and some kid! We are having a DI drive in our ward tomorrow so I thought I could go through them and send then on there way. But no, I opened a box of clothes that contained 18-24 month sized clothes I started to go through them.......and lost it! I mean lost it as in crying something not rarely done by me! I was so upset that I needed to call Richard! I calmed myself down a bit told myself not to cry anymore and called him up, I didn't want him to think I was crazy. He's out of town you see not coming home til tomorrow and I needed a pep talk from the only person that really understands me. I was fine, but then he answered and I lost it again could hardly get out words and was crying again. Crying because I was getting rid of my babies clothes, my memories of my boys. Thankfully Richard understands that this would be a hard task for me, I obviously did not! He told me that it was fine we could keep all the clothes we would store them somewhere, but I know they need to go because seriously we have nowhere to put them. I felt better talking to him and getting it out but still, I almost felt like a bad mom, like I was literally throwing away my kids! All I wanted was hug but that was not going to happen through the phone! I mean do you think it would be weird for him to tell his boss that he needed to go home like right then because his wife was having a sob fest over baby clothes? That's an excusable thing...Right?
I got rid of most the box, well I told myself that I'm going to get rid of most the box. I don't think that I will be able to do it tomorrow, but at least I went through it. I came across these that I just couldn't give up. Like Jack Hawaiian shirt that seriously I think he only wore once but it was at his 1st Birthday Party! Or the blue and cream sweater, Richard brought this outfit back to Trey after he went on "The Man Trip" shortly after he was born! Trey's first little football jersey that both the boys wore! The orange Shirt was a Halloween shirt, I remember Trey wearing it and holding hands with my dad while he picked one of his first pumpkins and wearing it the first time that we ever took him to Lagoon! Those little blue pants belong to a baby outfit that I loved it has a white shirt that goes with it with a horse on it. It's one of my favorites, sure it's covered in spit up stains, but they are spit up stains from my baby boys! Seriously I only did one box I don't know if I can face the rest of them today there's so many and I haven't even gotten to the little tiny baby clothes! What is it going to be like when I get to them?
I have to clear out the closet because I have to make room for all this pink and I'm excited! I just can't believe that my Trey baby and Jacky Bair are not babies anymore they are boys, big boys! Sure Jack still follows me around like a little puppy and loves to snuggle and still needs me at night and Trey still wants to hold my hand and give me a kiss in front of everyone but they are growing up! Trey is going to Kindergarten in the fall and Jack will be going to preschool! Right now at this moment I want to go back to when they were like this....
Newborn babies when there lives revolved around me and Richard and nothing else. When there wasn't school and friends and a mom sitting in an empty room crying over baby clothes. I want to go back back to when all they wanted to do was fall asleep in our arms and stare at us with their big beautiful eyes! If I would have known this is what would have happened today all over baby clothes, frankly I would have just let them sit in the closet!! I know that we are raising two amazing boys, they are going to grow up to be wonderful, successful men....I just want them to stay my babies! Well now that I've cried my eyes out typing this, I think I can be done! If this is what is going to happen over baby clothes, I can't imagine what is going to happen when they really are grown up and go on missions and move out of the house and get married! What will I do then......I might just have to be sedated!!!
I decided to tackle this! You see all those boxes are full of boy clothes. Some baby, some toddler and some kid! We are having a DI drive in our ward tomorrow so I thought I could go through them and send then on there way. But no, I opened a box of clothes that contained 18-24 month sized clothes I started to go through them.......and lost it! I mean lost it as in crying something not rarely done by me! I was so upset that I needed to call Richard! I calmed myself down a bit told myself not to cry anymore and called him up, I didn't want him to think I was crazy. He's out of town you see not coming home til tomorrow and I needed a pep talk from the only person that really understands me. I was fine, but then he answered and I lost it again could hardly get out words and was crying again. Crying because I was getting rid of my babies clothes, my memories of my boys. Thankfully Richard understands that this would be a hard task for me, I obviously did not! He told me that it was fine we could keep all the clothes we would store them somewhere, but I know they need to go because seriously we have nowhere to put them. I felt better talking to him and getting it out but still, I almost felt like a bad mom, like I was literally throwing away my kids! All I wanted was hug but that was not going to happen through the phone! I mean do you think it would be weird for him to tell his boss that he needed to go home like right then because his wife was having a sob fest over baby clothes? That's an excusable thing...Right?
I got rid of most the box, well I told myself that I'm going to get rid of most the box. I don't think that I will be able to do it tomorrow, but at least I went through it. I came across these that I just couldn't give up. Like Jack Hawaiian shirt that seriously I think he only wore once but it was at his 1st Birthday Party! Or the blue and cream sweater, Richard brought this outfit back to Trey after he went on "The Man Trip" shortly after he was born! Trey's first little football jersey that both the boys wore! The orange Shirt was a Halloween shirt, I remember Trey wearing it and holding hands with my dad while he picked one of his first pumpkins and wearing it the first time that we ever took him to Lagoon! Those little blue pants belong to a baby outfit that I loved it has a white shirt that goes with it with a horse on it. It's one of my favorites, sure it's covered in spit up stains, but they are spit up stains from my baby boys! Seriously I only did one box I don't know if I can face the rest of them today there's so many and I haven't even gotten to the little tiny baby clothes! What is it going to be like when I get to them?
I have to clear out the closet because I have to make room for all this pink and I'm excited! I just can't believe that my Trey baby and Jacky Bair are not babies anymore they are boys, big boys! Sure Jack still follows me around like a little puppy and loves to snuggle and still needs me at night and Trey still wants to hold my hand and give me a kiss in front of everyone but they are growing up! Trey is going to Kindergarten in the fall and Jack will be going to preschool! Right now at this moment I want to go back to when they were like this....
Newborn babies when there lives revolved around me and Richard and nothing else. When there wasn't school and friends and a mom sitting in an empty room crying over baby clothes. I want to go back back to when all they wanted to do was fall asleep in our arms and stare at us with their big beautiful eyes! If I would have known this is what would have happened today all over baby clothes, frankly I would have just let them sit in the closet!! I know that we are raising two amazing boys, they are going to grow up to be wonderful, successful men....I just want them to stay my babies! Well now that I've cried my eyes out typing this, I think I can be done! If this is what is going to happen over baby clothes, I can't imagine what is going to happen when they really are grown up and go on missions and move out of the house and get married! What will I do then......I might just have to be sedated!!!
1 comment:
ahhhh i think it is okay to be sad. you are parting with some really intense memories.
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